divine angst

Heidi responds to an argument about gay marriage by expanding the definition of family.

I have to agree with Heidi that families are more, much more, than mom and pop and sibs. I have a large, very large, extended family and we all grew up together, going to the same schools—and the same schools our parents went to—and being each other’s best friends. It’s wonderful and really quite special to have that sort of built-in support system.

The problem is that a lot of people don’t have that experience anymore. Mr. Angst grew up far away from his extended family and doesn’t have the same perspective on cousins, aunts, and uncles that I do. More and more people now are only connected to their immediate family, to the two or three or four people in their house. This is something I mourn—I think there was a greater sense of community and continuity when people regularly stayed where they grew up. We’re such a mobile nation now; things are much different than they were even 50 years ago.

So I’ll add to Heidi’s discussion of the bigger nature of family by suggesting that communities can also provide a broadened perspective. Being involved with the people you live and work around develops that sense of intereconnectednes. It also provides a way for people to meet and get to know stable, healthy, same-sex-parented families. (Aren’t people saying that’s one of the reasons various groups give for the 11 amendments that passed last week—that people “don’t know any gay families”—as if “families” can be “gay”?)

So, just adding another layer of discussion.

I managed to stay in pretty good shape after my wedding early this year. I maintained my weight and ate healthy foods and exercised regularly.

But ever since I decided to go to law school, my physical condition has deteriorated. I have gained some pounds, a small number but a big impact on my short body; I have lapsed into eating awful, fattening foods; and I have almost completely stopped going to the gym. For a few weeks before the LSAT, I got my act together and at least worked out. But I didn’t change my eating habits, and I didn’t lose any weight.

I’ve looked at myself and realized it’s time, once again, for drastic measures. It’s time, in other words, to get organized.

A few years ago, I discovered that the quickest way for me to pay attention to my physical wellbeing was to hyperfocus on it. It’s the only way I can monitor myself. I have to keep a food diary and count calories, I have to keep an exercise log, and I have to do it every day. In that vein, I bought a piece of shareware for my Palm Pilot that does all of it for me. (It was cheap.)

The software is called Cheater and it makes me feel like a completely anal retentive, obsessive-compulsive, food-focused freak while using it. But it’s a good thing. It gives positive feedback! It gives negative feedback! It’s exportable! (I do not export anything from it, because that would be more anal retentive and obsessive compulsive than even I am comfortable with.)

Every time I look at my body and see that I’ve gained some weight or gotten flabby, I go back to Cheater. I suppose being so conscious of what I put in my mouth is mildly unheathly—and food issues are not unknown in my family, mostly on the too-much-food side of things. But more unhealthy would be remaining in denial. So I am back on the calorie-counting wagon.

This may make me grouchy in the coming weeks. But I can’t be any grouchier than I already am over my expanding ass and belly. I just wish I’d done this a month ago. Now I have to be anal retentive and obsessive-compulsive during Thanksgiving. Pooh.

Remember when I told you that my iPod battery was dying?

Well today, I took my dying Precious to the local Apple store so I could take advantage of my warranty period and get a new one. I figured I’d let the store send it in for me so I could be sure that it got there safely.

Oh boy howdy! Not only did they not charge me a penny (I thought I might have to pay $30 for, essentially, shipping), they handed me a shiny, clean, refurbished iPod on the spot.

Time without iPod: 0 minutes.

Currently: charging new iPod in preparation for importing all my music back on to it.

I won’t bitch about Apple’s corporate practices for a good month now. That’s how happy I am.

Another letter writer has informed me, ever so graciously, that her recommendation is IN THE MAIL!

All these people, beating my deadline! It’s marvelous!