divine angst

If Charles is going to marry Camilla, at least the ring is tasteful. I’ve seen bigger tackier rings on graduate students.

No further acceptances or denials have come in, but I’ve been doing some hard thinking.

Firstly, we found out that Mr. Angst missed some deadlines for certain fellowships/scholarships at his school in DC, so one of the things we were holding out on is no longer a factor. (We’d always said if he got a certain fellowship, we’d definitely go to DC.)

But if you’ve been reading, you’ll know that Mr. Angst really wants to get into this program in DC—with or without the fellowship/scholarship. And that it’s really the perfect program for him in terms of what he wants to do with it.

I, on the other hand, really want to go to the best-ranked school I’m admitted to because I’d like to teach someday.

If nothing changes from here on out (Mr. Angst doesn’t get into the program in DC, I don’t get into GULC) we almost definitely will go to Chicago. That will work out nicely for my ambitions, since Northwestern will be the highest ranked school I’ll have gotten into. Of course, Mr. Angst’s program there is not as good and has fewer options (and the night class thing is not terrific), but we’ll both be in school, working toward our goals.

If, however, Mr. Angst gets into his program in DC and I get into GULC, we’ll probably go to DC. I want Mr. Angst to be happy and DC fits into his ambitions nicely. Plus, as far as I’m concerned, the three rankings places between GULC and Northwestern aren’t that significant as far as my career objectives go.

So neither of those scenarios presents any big problem. Both have an inherent solution. It’s the other scenario that has me chewing my erasers:

What if Mr. Angst gets into his DC school and I don’t get into GULC? Conventional wisdom would say I need to go to the highest-ranked school I get into, and Northwestern is higher-ranked than GW. But Mr. Angst would probably be unhappy in Chicago, knowing that he got into a better program more closely aligned with his dream job. Conversely, we could go to DC, where I’d be attending a lower-ranked school—one I’m certain I’d enjoy, and one that’s offered me a scholarship—but that choice might impact my dream of going into academia.

As the two cities go, DC is a much more attractive social situation for both of us—we have family and friends living close by—so that also tips the scales for DC in that latter situation. Still, I fear, I fear, I fear. Those stupid US News rankings are turning me into a prestige whore, and I don’t like it.

I can’t help but wonder—is it worth it for me to sacrifice the 10 rankings places and go to GW? We’d be in a marginally more preferable city, Mr. Angst would have a greater chance at his dream job, but I might have a smaller chance at mine. God, this compromise thing is a bitch!

I don’t want to be a prestige whore, really. And were I not interested in seriously pursuing legal academia, I probably would not be so fretful. I’d be just as likely to get a good job out of GW as out of Northwestern. But wanting to go into academia really forces me to bow to the stupid US News rankings.

So someone tell me that I either don’t need to worry or that my fears are well-founded. At least I’d know where to direct my energies—deciding what is more important to me, prestige or comfort.

Whoever found my site by searching for punishment domestic discipline blogs should be taken out back and whipped.

Oh. Wait. Maybe that’s what you WANTED. Freak.

OK, the title of this post could have gone just as well with the last post. Moving past that, I have an actual question:

If you were a Valentine’s Day dinner for me and Mr. Angst, prepared at home, which of the following would you be:

1. lobster
2. steak
3. duck

Mr. Angst is pushing for lobster, but I’m sort of terrified of having to kill the poor bugs. I am leaning toward duck, but Mr. Angst says duck makes him think of Thanksgiving (?) and he’d rather not. Steak is the middle of the road option—boring, but foolproof.

Feel free to add your own suggestions. I can cook almost anything.

Update: One of the local fancy grocery stores carries lobster tail—no killing involved! Mr. Angst suggests surf and turf with lobster bisque, so I think I’ll get two tails, some filets, and some lump lobster meat for the soup. Sides: yummy arugula salad with shaved Parmesan! Or maybe just shaved Parmesan! Also, perhaps, roasted asparagus? Will that go with surf and turf? I probably have to make potatoes or something, too. Individual chocolate soufflés for dessert. Mmmm. I must be hungry again.

Here in the wasteland of admissions notifications, I’m starting to get a little insane. For instance, I caught myself thinking how cool it would be if I got into Harvard—even though I didn’t apply.