divine angst

It’s National Poetry Month so, like other bloggers, I’m going to post a poem.

This is the only poem I’ve ever been able to memorize successfully. I don’t know why. However, today, I need some whimsy, so it seems appropriate to share.

Jabberwocky, by Lewis Carroll

‘Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe:
All mimsy were the borogoves,
And the mome raths outgrabe.

“Beware the Jabberwock, my son!
The jaws that bite! The claws that catch!
Beware the Jubjub bird and shun
The frumious Bandersnatch!”

He took his vorpal sword in hand,
Longtime the manxome foe he sought—
So rested he by the Tumtum tree
And stood awhile in thought.

And, as in uffish thought he stood,
The Jabberwock, with eyes of flame,
Came whiffling throught the tulgey wood,
And burbled as it came!

One, two! One, two! And through and through
The vorpal blade went snicker-snack!
He left it dead, and with it’s head
He went galumphing back.

“And, hast thou slain the Jabberwock?
Come to my arms, my beamish boy!
Oh frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!”
He chortled in his joy.

‘Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe:
All mimsy were the borogoves,
And the mome raths outgrabe.

Remind me to stop posting about stuff before decisions are final.

Some new information has come to light regarding Mr. Angst’s schools of choice.

Consequently, we may be changing our minds.

I am now giggling like a madwoman at the irony of it all. And I feel sort of nauseous. Fuck me.

(This has nothing to do, by the way, with the situation for which I requested waves. That situation is going fine—not as delightfully perfectly as we hoped, but fine nonetheless.)

In-State Financial Aid Office recently notified me that I can’t receive financial aid because I haven’t been admitted to any program for the fall.

Huh? Yeah, basically, I took one undergraduate class under my maiden name, and so I’m in the student system with that name. When my FAFSA came in, they went looking for my SSN and found it—under my maiden name. But I was admitted to In-State Law School under my married name.

So, somehow, all these systems can’t talk to each other and see that I, with the same SSN and campus electronic identity but two last names, am really one person, and just merge all my data. I’m not going to be attending In-State Law school, but I would like to know how much aid I might get from them. So I have to take my marriage certificate (or a certified copy) all the way to campus, to the Registrar’s Office (and this is a HUGE pain because there is no parking anywhere near there) and have them change my name in the student system.

This, even though I’ve changed my name in the EMPLOYEE system. But even those two databases apparently don’t talk to each other.

Seriously? Totally annoying.

Stag has made a decison!

I commented over at her place that, now that the choice is made, she’s going to get more and more excited—that’s what’s been happening to me.

What I didn’t say over there, because I’m not sure it’s not just me, is that I also feel the twinge of wistful regret at least once a day, still. Something will remind me of the other city, and I’ll think, “I could be there this fall!” before remembering that, no, I won’t be there. I spent so much time thinking of that other school this spring that it’s hard to get out of the habit of daydreaming about it.

The more time goes by, the more certain I am that our decision was the right one. So it feels strange to still want to check the admitted students’ message board for the other school, to read the newspaper for the other city. Sometimes I think I’d still really love to live in that city—and maybe we’ll get to someday. And when I catch myself in these reveries, I almost feel like punishing my brain for wandering over there: No! Bad mind! We aren’t going there—stop thinking about it! No regrets!

So my message to Stag is this: enjoy knowing you’ve made a decision. If you find yourself thinking about the other school, give those thoughts some credence, let them wander as far as they’ll go—and see how you feel about your decision then. Chances are good you’ll still be happy with your choice.