divine angst

Today is the tenth anniversary of the bombing in Oklahoma City. I was thinking about that day, and all the other days that we remember. Isn’t it funny how people always want to know where you were and what you remember about those days?

On April 19, 1995, when word came of the explosion at the Murrah Building, I was a senior in high school, in fifth period Computer Science class, fresh from my extra-long lunch (I had a free period in the middle of the day). The announcement came over the PA system and, being students in a Catholic school, we were asked to stand, bow our heads, have a moment of silence, and say a prayer together. I believe we recited a Hail Mary, but it could have been the Lord’s Prayer—I really don’t remember that bit. I remember that it was a pretty spring day and the sun was out and that the full import of what had happened didn’t really strike me at the time. It was only later, when the papers published the images, that I realized how awful what had happened was.

But I’m glad my Catholic high school had us all say a prayer that day. As long as I can remember, tragic events that occured while I was in school were always followed by a communal prayer. It’s soothing. We didn’t just pray for national events—the Challenger explosion, Oklahoma City—we also prayed for each other. I remember my entire elementary school saying a prayer for my cousin, when she was very ill. I remember saying prayers for other students who were ill or dying, or who had lost a parent. I don’t believe that public schools should have prayer, but I hope they can continue to offer silent and thoughtful moments for tragic events.

I felt the lack of such a moment on September 11. I was all alone in my office, reading the headlines online, when the towers were hit. I wished there had been some greater communal moment, early on that Tuesday morning, something that acknowledged the shock and terror we all felt. I went to church that evening, instead, needing to fill that empty space with other people and a shared purpose.

These are the things I think about on days of remembrance. People want to know where you were and what you were doing when big events happen because those memories are part of a shared human experience. How we react and cope with horrible events helps us learn to react and cope with future events. Have a moment of silence today, if you can, in memory of Oklahoma City. Say a prayer if you pray. Be with other people. Remember with one another.

Well, that was fast.

I’m going to have to revisit my Roman numerals. All those letters after “Benedict” have me confused.

1. You’re stuck inside Fahrenheit 451, which book do you want to be saved?

Like SG, I have actually read Fahrenheit 451. In eighth grade. It was the book we read in depth and analyzed that year. I still have my copy of it, all marked up and written in. I liked it—but I liked most books that I read in English class in school, that our teacher took the time to go through with us. Consequently, I even liked The Sound and the Fury, which is a bitch of a book to finish, much less understand. I digress. Of the books that were formative for me—and there are a lot of them—I guess I’d pick The Diary of a Young Girl. I love that book and I think it’s an important work that deserves to be saved.

2. Have you ever had a crush on a fictional character?

Yes. I think back to my romance-novel phase and I had a lot of crushes on totally unrealistic characters in those books. Of course, Wesley from The Princess Bride is another fictional crush—although, again, totally unrealistic.

3. The last book you purchased?

I recently bought A Storm of Swords—just finished it yesterday, on the plane.

4. What are you currently reading?

As I just finished the last book in my to-be-read stack, I am currently without a book in progress. I’ll pull something off the shelf tonight, probably. Or I’ll finish reading this week’s Economist.

5. Five books you would take to a deserted island?

1. What names did you consider for your blog?

None. I had/have another blog that I have stopped posting to, and it had a crappy name. When I started the whole law-school-application-nightmare I wanted a place to chronicle it all, and I wanted it to be more long-term, so I spent some time coming up with a name I actually liked. I wasn’t clever enough at the time to come up with a clever Latin name or even a name that was law-related but this name is unique at least and I really like it.

2. What is your favorite adult beverage and why?

If the options were always good, I’d drink wine all the time. In the absence of good wine selections, I’ll choose a good beer; in the absence of good beer, I’ll take a vodka tonic most of the time and an Irish Whiskey some of the time.

3. If you could cancel 3 televisions shows, what would they be?

Urm. I don’t know. Daytime TV sucks, so there are a few of those shows I’d can. Most primetime sitcoms are wretched also, so I’d get rid of a few of those, too. And then I’d toss all the shows on the Food Network that aren’t actual cooking shows. I don’t really like those “all about cookies/barbecue/soda” shows.

4. You’ve been asked to host SNL. Which cast would you choose to work with, and who would you choose as the musical guest?

I’m torn between the early cast—Gilda, Jane, Bill, Belushi, et al—and the great early 90’s cast—Phil, Kevin, Farley, Rock, et al. Maybe I’d mix and match those groups, and throw in Farrell because he rocks. (NB: I saw a guy at the airport yesterday wearing a shirt that said “More Cowbell” on the front. I want one!) As for the musical guest, it would need to be someone fun and funky—none of this standing-at-the-microphone and singing soulfully stuff. Contemporarily, even though I am not a huge fan, the Black Eyed Peas would probably be fun (and I’m sure they’ve been on, though I don’t really watch anymore so I can’t say for sure). I really don’t know.

5. What will Britney Spears name her baby and which three names will she consider and reject before settling on the “winner”?

Oh, honey, you are going to get flak no matter what you name this poor child. If it’s a girl, I say she tries for clever and cute, but then ruins it by adding something to the end. So, like, Gaia-Lynn. If it’s a boy, the poor thing will end up being called Devan or Mykall or Rian. I hate alternate spellings of normal names. Poor Brit-Fed spawn.

Oh yeah, I forgot to mention:

As seat deposit deadlines have passed at the “other” schools I got into, and as I did NOT send any money to either of them, my decision is really, finally, totally made, by default.

Now I just have to remember to send a check to my school before the end of the month.

Today’s schedule includes the following:

I would also like to mention that my inner ear still thinks I’m on the boat. Someone stop the world from rocking, because it’s getting a little old.