divine angst

I took my first Aikido class last night.

Mr. Angst has been taking Aikido for the last month, and he’s practiced martial arts in the past. We thought this might be a way for us to spend time together. I was hesitant; any time I’ve ever taken a movement class that involved working with partners (dance classes, for instance), I’ve never felt very comfortable or that the teachers were doing much to help me in particular. (I’m thinking particularly of the last dance class I took, a lindy class, where the teachers were much more interested in demonstrating with each other only, and rarely with a student. Because I knew more than some people in the class, I ended up having to dance with the men who didn’t know anything, and I never got better.)

So anyway, I was nervous. Martial arts? Me? I’m a yoga kind of girl. And any form of movement that requires partners? I am definitely better alone—that way I can’t hurt anyone and I can progress at my own pace.

But I really enjoyed the class. I guess we are lucky—there are several senior students who are attending this class and helping out, so I’m not just working with other new students. And the atmosphere is very relaxed, not at all Karate-Kid-scary-dojo stuff (yes, I know that’s karate and not aikido, but there’s a whole competitive-martial-arts mindset that makes me nervous).

Best of all, I think I can actually be good at this. That was my final reservation about aikido—would I succeed? Could I succeed? (I am not known for my gracefulness, let me just say that.) But I think I can, and I am excited to try.