divine angst

In case you’re wondering, yes, we do consider it our fate to wander the Earth like Caine from “Kung Fu,” doling out insipid questions so we’ll have something to blog about. This week’s wisdom, channelled via meditation from Master Po:

1. What’s your favorite season?

Spring in Texas. With wildflowers and perfect temperatures and mornings that aren’t too early, but yet are early enough to wake you up in the morning with the light glinting between the blinds. And evenings that aren’t too early but early enough that you can enjoy a warm, breezy sunset right after dinner, while you drink a glass of wine.

2. Do you have a green thumb?

So, no.

3. What is your favorite sport to watch? What is your favorite sport to play? Do you have a sports hero?

I absolutely love to watch college football. Preferably in person. (Not such a fan of any sports on TV, unfortunately.) I generally enjoy playing any sport as long as there’s no expectation that I will be any good, and I’m not playing with people who might hurt me because they’re so much bigger than me. (This is why I don’t play in the family “touch” football game at our fall family reunion. The men in the family are too competitive and way too much bigger than me.) I don’t really have a sports hero.

4. Which would you rather be: Mayor, Governor, Senator, or President?

Queen Bee.

5. What are ten must-own items for single men and single women?

Didn’t we already discuss this at E. Spat’s?

Ok, I’ll do it again.

Women:

1. At least one piece of really good furniture that you purchased for yourself, that wasn’t handed down from someone in your family. Maybe your first good bed, or a beautiful antique side table—buy it yourself.
2. The perfect little black dress that fits just right in all the right places.
3. A really excellent hairstylist who knows how to work with your hair and what will complement your face.
4. A simple-to-make but fantastic-tasting recipe suitable for all kinds of company—family, a date, girlfriends.
5. Speaking of girlfriends, have a bunch, but make sure you’ve got at least one that you can call when you need to bitch and on whose shoulder you can cry.
6. A doctor you trust and like. Staying healthy is so important.
7. A really good pair of tweezers. Yes, they make a huge difference.
8. Good cookware. Yes, it also makes a huge difference.
9. A library card. Everyone should have one of these, in fact, single or not, female or not. Being well-read is important.
10. A sense of humor and a willingness to laugh at yourself.

Men:
What are you talking about? I’m not a man. Why would I know what a single man needs? I’ll leave this list to someone else.