divine angst

Hey, I just want to tell everyone to have a very happy holiday weekend. Posting may be light over the next several days because I plan to spend them, duh, by the pool drinking vodka tonics from a water bottle.

Don’t forget to celebrate our nation’s independence on Monday by setting off some fireworks, or at least finding some to watch. Try and listen to the 1812 Overture or Fanfare for the Common Man or even just some John Phillip Sousa stuff. Good for the soul.

I forgot to each lunch today (or maybe I was just stuffed full of that delicious apple fritter), so I’m leaving the office early for my long weekend and don’t plan to be back online for at least…oh, two hours. Ta, duckies!

I am a disgusting human being.

I was looking at myself in the mirror yesterday and this morning, realizing that I haven’t exactly been EATING WELL and my body is starting to reflect that (sigh, in the tummy. Always the tummy). And despite the many benefits of Aikido, it’s not exactly strenuous. So, I might be improving my balance and maybe even muscle tone, but I’m not really burning fat, you know?

So what did I do?

I walked to the grocery store down the street from my office and BOUGHT A GIANT APPLE FRITTER.

And then I ate the whole thing.

Salad for lunch, I think.

And without much fanfare, the Court will be reshaped.

Please, let her replacement be a woman.

As always, via BTQ.

1. Is Tom Cruise correct that we’re not alone in the universe?

I really have no idea. On the one hand, I’m reminded of Jodi Foster’s line in Contact (the Carl Sagan movie, and by the way, the book is much more politically interesting than the movie, and I say that as someone who likes to watch that movie at least once a year, and yes, that is kind of sad). Paraphrased, she says, “If we’re alone, it’s an awful waste of space.” And that’s a good point. But I’m also constantly astounded by the remarkable “coincidences” that had to take place for life on Earth to come to be.

For the record, I don’t have trouble reconciling the concept of extraterrestrial life with my faith. But I’m not convinced by the statistical argument (which is the one Tommy boy was using). I think life is more than just the intersection of the right conditions. So there could be life out there, but I don’t believe the sheer size of the universe mandates it.

2. What is a fashion trend that you would like to see go away, and what is a fashion you would like to see come back in style?

God, please take away the knee-length pants trend. I know it’s barely hit the public, but any trend that requires the wearer to have the body of a twelve-year old boy can NOT be good.

I’d like to see that fifties-inspired, nipped-in-waist with flowing skirts thing come back. It was all the rage a few years ago (remember Julianne Moore in Far From Heaven?), and that style looks AWESOME on me. Bring it back!

3. I was going to ask what city will win next week’s vote on the host of the 2012 Olympics, but everyone knows it’s going to be Paris, so I decided to tweak it: What city that you have visited (or lived in) would be a good Olympic host city, and why?

Um, I don’t think I’ve LIVED anywhere that would be a good Olympic host city, except MAYBE New York, and only if they can get their act together and stop whining about things. Visited? I say none. I tend to visit cities that are hugely congested and difficult to get around in (Rome, London) or bucolic and quaint with no real resources for millions of visitors (Florence, Oxford). Man, I need to do some more traveling.

4. Happy Canada Day to our readers in the Great White North! In light of that holiday, and our own upcoming Independence Day, tell us your favorite Independence Day memory. (And yes, those of you in other nations can use whatever national holiday you celebrate.)

Two years ago, Mr. Angst and I went to the upper Midwest for July 4. We watched terrific fireworks over the Mississippi River (and I think there’s another river that intersects up there) and, in general, had a great time. Then we went over to New York City and walked our feet off. Literally—Mr. Angst had bleeding blisters-on-blisters.

But that’s not my FAVORITE July 4 memory, of course. My favorite memory is of July 4, 2000, when I MET Mr. Angst at a party. I was in the pool, he and his friend had their feet dipped in the water, his friend flipped me off, it was great fun. (Really, it was. Someone tried to surf in the pool and nearly took someone else’s head off.) But the real point is that I met Mr. Angst on July 4. We didn’t start dating right away, but we’d met. The rest, as they say, is history.

5. The Supreme Court ruled this week on one set of commandments, but we want to hear yours. What are the Ten Commandments of [X]? Pick a topic and reveal its ten most important rules. Phrasings with “shalt” appreciated but not required.

How about the Ten Commandments of the Workplace?

1. Thou shalt not micromanage thy employees.

2. Thou shalt not tell inappropriate jokes to thy co-workers, no matter how understanding thou thinkest they are.
3. Thou shalt not offer fun summer events and then cancel them at the last minute.
4. Thou shalt not coerce uninterested employees into being on committees they are not interested in.
5. Thou shalt pay well.
6. Thou shalt offer reasonable amounts of vacation time.
7. Thou shalt not question thy employees when they take sick days. Have faith in thy employees and thou shalt be rewarded ten-hundredfold.
8. Thou shalt keep thy employees informed of network outages that are critical to their job performance.
9. Thou shalt endeavor to keep the soda machine full of diet offerings when thy department is more than 3/4 female.
10. Smile daily.

(Disclaimer: all commandments are fictional and any similarity to the author’s workplace implied by said commandments is purely coincidental.)