divine angst

While I understand what teahouseblossom means when she says she’s jealous of my alone time, I also think that alone time, at least at this time in my life, is overrated.

What have I done today? Well, I got up at a reasonable hour, read the news and fell asleep while reading. When I woke up, it was not such a reasonable hour (though not exactly late), and I killed some more time copying stuff to my computer from my iPod (mostly files I’d retrieved from my work computer). I felt guilty the entire time, like I should be doing more productive things, like PACKING or CLEANING.

So out I went, in the heat of the mid-morning and changed the license plates on my car—I got new ones the last time I renewed my registration. Then I lazed around some more. Then I made coffee, because I had a headache from not having coffee. Then I got dressed and organized my dresser drawers (and put some…unmentionables…into plastic bags so that when we carry the drawers out to the moving truck, my little things aren’t vulnerable to being blown out or dropped on the ground). THEN I went out. I went to Target to exchange a pair of shorts. I went to the used-box place to get a wardrobe box and some bubble wrap. I went to Home Depot to get the right kind of cord for tiedowns. And now, here it is, after 3, and I am JUST NOW EATING.

And I’m having dinner with a friend at 6. My day has been all kinds of wonky, I guess.

I wish I had more impetus to be productive in a more organized way. If Mr. Angst were here, I think I’d probably either be pushing us both to be productive or I’d be letting him talk me out of feeling guilty for being a little lazy. As it is, I tried to accomplish too much while I was out because I felt bad for not doing anything this morning and now I am tired and pissy (though at least part of that could be hunger).

Also, it’s lonely with no one to talk to.