divine angst

I had no class today.

(Well, I have class everyday….I didn’t have school today, though.)

It’s kind of fabulously relaxing, to have a day off. I got up when I woke up–and as that was around 9 am, I didn’t even feel guilty for sleeping in. I “washed the gray away” with a little help from L’Oreal, and enjoyed my coffee without rushing.

I did go to campus to do some exam-prep work, but it was low-key. Which is good, because shortly after arriving at school, I developed a splitting headache. I’m recovering now, while a beautiful pork roast cooks in the oven. (Smells terrific, by the way.)

While I was at school, I spent some time chatting with a 3L about exam prep. I think one thing 1Ls freak out about is how much prep is enough and whether or not they’re working hard enough. I’ve been working on compiling and distilling my notes from each class for the last several weeks, but I don’t feel like I’m doing “enough” sometimes. He mentioned that he wasn’t all that busy during exams because he had working on synthesizing through the semester, and that was a relief to hear.

I’m steeling myself for the arbitrary nature of law school exams, but at the same time, I don’t want to look back on what work I’m doing and realize that I could have done more, or done more, more efficiently.

I’m not really sure where this post was going. I think my lesson for today was that everyone has to know how they work and turn it to their advantage in preparing for exams. I’ve never been a crammer (though I’ve also never been the kind of person who delays gratification and studies first…), so I think I’m maybe on a good track. And I’m working with people, which keeps me accountable. I need to work more on my outlines, but I don’t feel like I’m so far behind that I’ll be pulling all-nighters to catch up.

Let’s hope I’m right.

And hey–my headache is gone!

I just ordered these fabulous boots:

Whee!

All my life, I’ve been hearing my mom tell me that “stress kills.” She’s always been very concerned that I take time to relax, to unwind, to clear my mind. And I’ve generally been pretty good about it. Much as I say I am a stress bunny, I’m actually pretty laid back. I get into panic mode near deadlines, but I tend to stay pretty low-key even through a difficult stretch.

I thought I was dealing with law school the same way. I haven’t felt panicked and I haven’t needed to pull any marathon study sessions. I haven’t been sleeping all that well, but I’d chalked that up to the ungodly heat in our apartment.

Over the weekend, I realized how wrong I was. Stress is doing strange things to me, physically and emotionally. I just didn’t notice it because I hadn’t hit any real deadlines. No deadlines = no panic. Sure, I had a memo to turn in, but I worked on it sort of consistently over about four days and got it done, even with a little time to spare. The memo wasn’t really a source of panic for me. And exams are still a few weeks away, so I’m not feeling any overwhelming pressure from that end. I’ve been, again, consistently working on my outlines, and a group of us are going to work on practice exams over the next couple of weeks, so I feel on track.

But the stress has clearly been building up. Somewhere. And it hit me full force over the weekend. Not the stress itself, but what the stress has been doing to my body and mind. Basically, I’m exhausted. But because I didn’t realize it, I haven’t been doing anything to counter it.

This four-month stretch is probably the longest stretch I’ve gone without any real break. Even in college we had Fall Break. At work, projects usually lasted a couple of months, or were broken down into month- or week-long chunks. But law school is a marathon. I don’t necessarily mean that the lenght of the semester is all that difficult–what’s difficult is that there is no pause to it. Four months of school, with one exam at the end. No break in the middle to brain dump and refresh. Sure, we have grades in legal writing, but even that doesn’t alleviate the constant mental work. It’s only 2 credits, after all.

So here I am, with essentially two weeks of school left, and my body and mind have started to drag. Well, except that they haven’t–they’re just compensating. All my reserves that might have gone to feed a desire to go see a movie or go shopping are poured into school. Things that I used to enjoy have become chores. I just didn’t notice before the past weekend because I was so focused on school.

I took some time over the weekend to let it out, talk it over, and refresh a little. It was much needed, believe me. I’m not diverting all my energy as much, but consequently I have less drive to get my reading done and less willingness to actively engage in class. I’ve been running low on gas, and now I actually know it. Thanksgiving is, thankfully, only two weeks away, though. It’ll be a welcome break, but only if I can get through classes and keep up with my outlining between now and then.

Law school is a learning process. But it’s not just about the academics, the intellectual challenges, and the legal practices. Of all the experiences I’ve had, law school is teaching me the most about myself. And not about how I learn or what interests me, but about what I can tolerate and how far I can push myself.

Today was the worst day of the week, as far as my calendar goes. It started with Contracts and continued with double Crim Law. My shortened midday break was then largely taken up by a committee meeting, after which I ran to Civ Pro.

I then attempted to buy a sweater at a local clothing shop, but the one I liked was green, and I already have a couple of green sweaters. Back went I to campus for a panel session on pro bono work in law firms, and, finally, I trudged home.

Never fear, though–the day had a bright spot. I’m testing out EndNote, and I always love playing with new software. I like EndNote, but I suspect that to be really useful for me, I’ll have to do a lot of personal configuration of citation formats. Um, maybe in a week or so I’ll do a real review of it. (Or maybe not; I don’t have a new research project this semester, so I may just not have time to bother with it.) If any other law students out there are using EndNote and have access to pre-configured styles, so I don’t have to do them myself, I’d love to know about it.

You know, it really just struck me that today is only Tuesday. Gah.

Due to less frequent (and shorter) postings around here, I’m now allowing 14 days worth of entries to show on the main page instead of a mere 7. This will (hopefully) stop some template problems as well as make me feel less bad about my blog-slacking.

Man, they really pack it in as the semester grows long. Despite having my afternoon class cancelled today, I still had a lunch event, a Westlaw training session, and a study group meeting to attend. Tomorrow, I have a double class, a post-lunch-hour meeting, and, of course, three classes.

The rest of the week is similar: classes plus a million other non-class-but-school-related events. The only bright spot in the week is this: my Friday is completely empty. Well, perhaps empty. I think I will end up going to campus to meet with some other people and work on practice exams.

I wonder how they expect us to do what we are supposed to do–namely, finish our outlines and take practice exams–when the school and student organizations pack the calendar from here to Thanksgiving. I mean, I can barely find time to blog and watch Law & Order lately!

Oh, and did I mention that registration starts next week? I get to take two electives (yes, yes, I know, that’s unusual for 1Ls), so I’ve been perusing the schedule. I’d love to take Civ Pro II, but much will depend on what section I end up in next semester. The prof for Civ Pro II is also teaching Con Law, and I don’t know if it’s wise to take two classes with the same professor — particularly when they’d meet on the same days.

But I think I’ll save my registration ruminations for another post. This post is really just about how crazy my calendar looks for the next couple of weeks. (*That’s what the title means, silly.)

This is a nice (and very comforting) way to think about outlining. I like this definition so much, in fact, that I may stop calling my outlines “outlines.” They are merely study aids, but study aids that I have made all by myself.

I don’t know if I’ve ever mentioned this here, but I LOVE disaster movies. All of them. I guarantee that if I’m flipping channels and there’s a disaster flick on, I WILL stop and watch the whole damn thing. And I’m not picky — I like the big-budget studio ones (Twister) and the made-for-TV ones (10.5). I even love the Discovery Channel specials on “the big one” (that would be the Big Volcano, the Big Earthquake, or the Big Wave). I love them all.

So don’t think less of me because I’m sitting here on my couch watching Volcano. (I am flipping back and forth to ESPN to check the football scores.)

Lacking the mental strength to actually compose something in prose, I will instead give you a list of things I’ve taken note of lately.

• A woman wearing a light peach suit should NOT wear brown hose and brown calf-high leather boots with it.
• Similarly, don’t pull your black trouser socks up above the top of your boots. It looks weird.
• People on the train really don’t like to move out of the doorway.
• What’s worse is when people on the bus won’t move so you can pay your fare, so you have to wait for the next one or walk.
• My phone gets no signal on campus and so dies twice a week.
• I have four times as much gray now as I did a year ago.
• When I’m in a hurry, it means I’m guaranteed to get stuck behind a group of three teenagers taking up the whole sidewalk.
• Big 10 football is much more interesting than Big 12 football, but I feel like a traitor admitting it.
• No-iron shirts are the Best Thing Ever.
• It’s nice to have a built-in Non-Law-School Friend. (Also known as A Spouse.)
• Meatloaf pretty much has to be served with mashed potatoes.

If anyone would like me to expand upon any of these subjects, let me know.

This story is fantastic! (I’m a sucker for a brainy girl-hero story….)

Here’s a sample:

Suddenly, “I saw this bubbling on the water, right on the edge, and foam sizzling just like in a frying pan,” she remembered. “The water was coming in, but it wasn’t going out again. It was coming in, and then in, and then in, towards the hotel.”

She recognized it as an indication that earthquake-driven waves were only minutes away.

Tilly turned to her mother, Penny, “and I said, ‘Mum, I know there’s something wrong, I know it’s going to happen the tsunami.’”

OK, so not so great with the editing on the news story, but wow!

(I got to the story via Salon.com which also mentions that the beach in Phuket where the family was staying was one of the few beaches where no one was killed or seriously injured.)

I feel sort of lost today. I have my reading done for the rest of the week and I feel prepared for tomorrow’s class, so I don’t have that hanging over my head. I’v updated my resume and I’m collecting thoughts on what to write in cover letters for the various kinds of jobs I may apply for. (Note: that is the extent of the job searching stuff I’m doing right now.) My outlines are rough, but not awful.

Part of me thinks I should get to polishing up those outlines. But another part of me doesn’t know how valuable a lot of fiddling and fixing will be. Maybe it would be better to flowchart, or to work on fitting my outline-from-notes into an outline-from-syllabus. Should I create flashcards/notecards? Do more briefing? I’m just not sure what I should be doing right now other than what am doing–namely, going to class, taking good notes, meeting with my study group once a week to go over classes and outlines, and looking at my supplements.

So, should I be spending what extra time I have working on tweaking my outline? Or should I work on internalizing the information in different ways? I’m nowhere near ready to start looking at practice exams. What is the most effective use of my time?

Today, I was marginally smart in Civ Pro. I think Prof. Civ Pro actually knows who I am now, too. Given that our grade could be “nudged” by class participation, I think it’s good that he knows me. Hopefully, though, I won’t need the nudge. You know? I’d rather just do really well on the exam. Because I’m enjoying Civ Pro and I’d hate to do badly in the class.

Speaking of exams (because I was, didya notice that?), the school held an “Exam Tips” seminar this afternoon. The advice, overwhelmingly, consisted of the following: Get your outline done. Take practice exams, and take a lot of them, even if they weren’t written by your prof. Set a study schedule. Eat well, sleep well, exercise, and take care of yourself.

All good advice, advice I hope to take. I really want to get my outlines done before Thanksgiving so I can relax over the holiday and then fall to studying with a rested mind and body. Somehow, though, I think I’ll end up thinking some about law those five days anyway–we’ll be having turkey with at least four lawyers.

So hey, y’all? Remember me? I’m a law student?

So, um, I’m a STUDENT, right? And I’ve got, like, two-and-more-than-a-half years left of school, OK? So will someone please help me understand why I should be thinking about finding a JOB, like NOW?

:::whimper:::