divine angst

Today was supposed to be a good day. I had a bunch of stuff to do, but none of it needed to be done at school, so I could stay home and work. It’s finally sunny and not schizophrenically rainy-cloudy-sunny-cold-hot, so I hoped to get some sun. And we have a fun party to go to tonight.

So why was today NOT a good day?

1) I went to the roof to work and get some sun–just in shorts and a tank top, so I didn’t bother with sunscreen or a swimsuit. Within ten minutes I was being eaten alive by FLEAS. Back inside for me.

2) The work I am doing didn’t take me as long as I thought it would, so I spent the latter part of the afternoon struggling to fill my hours. Not that there’s not stuff to do, it’s just not the fun stuff. I had hoped the fun stuff would last a little longer.

3) I managed to piss of Mr. Angst. I didn’t mean to, and I’m still not sure why I reacted the way I did, when I pissed him off, but I don’t think any of that matters. So now we’re both unhappy and feeling off, and yet we still have this party to go to, and I am pretty sure the party is going to be no fun for either of us.

The day started out with such promise, and I don’t think I realized how edgy I was until I reacted to Mr. Angst (the Pissing Off Incident–the details of which would sound so ridiculous that no one would ever believe it was the cause of all this angst). I blew off a little steam–steam I didn’t know was building up–and I blew it off possibly in the wrong way. But usually when I pop off, I feel better afterward. I don’t now.

Honestly, I don’t know what’s going on with me. I just feel stupid and small and not right, and I don’t know how to change it.