divine angst

I think it finally hit me.

That is: the lack of sleep, the non-stop packing and editing and editing and packing, the general worry about whether I’m doing enough at my summer job, and the stupid, stupid weather.

I think I’ve been pretty tireless for the last two weeks–and that’s good, because I needed to be–but I think it’s finally caught up to me. I’m wiped. I’m wiped and I’m pissy and I’m brain dead. I reread the same two sentences twelve times this evening (while trying to make up for some lost hours at work), and I still couldn’t tell you what they said, or why they were important. At home, I find myself unable to concentrate on finishing one task–I keep getting distracted into doing something else. Everything seems sort of hazy.

I keep reminding myself that tomorrow is moving day and we’ll be done with all this soon, and that I’m taking a little vacation this weekend (albeit work-related). And that when I get back on Sunday things will look better, clearer, brighter. But right now, I just want to hide my head in the sand and sleep.

Apparently I don’t sleep any more. I go to bed late and I get up early. I wake up hours, or at least significant portions of an hour, before my alarm goes off. I can’t go back to sleep, even when I try thinking about the really cool dream I was having (and that almost always works).

I’m hoping this extended stretch of psuedo-insomnia (insomnia for me, who is accustomed to sleeping 8 hours at LEAST) is only related to the journal duties I’ve essentially finished (for the time) and the move. I’m hoping I’ll sleep like a baby on Tuesday night. I’m hoping this lack of sleep isn’t affecting me in other ways.

In any case, the apartment is very nearly completely packed up–we have all the most important stuff in boxes. All of the food is still in its usual place, but I’m less worried about my spices and nonperishables (and the scant collection of stuff in the fridge) than I am about things like the cover and pillows on the futon and bed (must be packed up by 8 am tomorrow) as well as the ulcer I’m pretty sure Himself is developing. Lucky for him, he gets to go to the vet today and play with his friends. When he comes home, he’ll be coming home to a new place. I hope it’s as much a relief for him as it will be for me.