divine angst

I am just way too easily distracted. Especially when confronted with an overwhelming amount of minutiae. If I just buckled down and powered through it, I’d be done in a couple of hours. As is it, I’ll probably be working on it for several hours because I have to keep checking my email.

Lasts

Yesterday was my last day of work. Above all, I’m glad I had the experience of working for a law firm, and I very much enjoyed working at my firm. The people were almost universally terrific and the work was, by and large, interesting. Yes, even the really dull work had interesting components. If things work out that way, I will be very happy to go back there next fall and start my career. If, for some reason, the next year takes us in another direction, I will still be very glad I had the experience—and I’ll be a bit sad to have to turn down my offer.

So that’s probably a pretty standard reaction to the last day of a summer associateship. The not-so-standard response is this: even though I still suspect I won’t spend my career at a law firm, I was really surprised at how easily I could see myself doing so, at least where I worked this summer. I learned quite a bit about myself—how I best work, how I prefer to get feedback, how to make my needs known without being a pill—and by my last week, I was feeling very comfortable, very at home. I was a little surprised, frankly; I kind of figured I’d put up with law firm life because of the paycheck and the experience to be gained, not because I actually found the work rewarding.

So, all in all, it was good summer. It’s a pretty sweet gig, after all, and even sweeter to realize it can be enjoyable even without the lunches and the events.

Firsts

Today, Mr. Angst and I rented our first Zipcar. We drove out to the suburbs to buy a piece of furniture we’d had our eyes on. Unfortunately, the store that carries this piece of furniture doesn’t do online orders or telephone orders. So we had to drive down there. Worth it? Totally. We’ll have to go back down next weekend to pick it up, so I’ve already reserved another Zipcar, one large enough to carry it back home.

At any rate, I’m so glad we finally did the Zipcar thing. Getting it was easy, filling it with gas was easy, everything about it was EASY. Easier than renting a car, certainly. I wouldn’t get a Zipcar for everyday use—we’re still close enough to the grocery store to walk there and back with a cart—but for those odd occasions when we need to go somewhere in a car, it’s definitely worth it.

Mr. Angst and I went to a neighborhood festival last night with this weekend’s houseguest. As we were walking towards the entrance, I saw a familiar face walk past me. He didn’t see me, and it took me a few seconds to place him (read: he was already past by the time I figured out who he was). So I didn’t say hi to this acquaintance of mine or anything. But it bothered me that it took me so long to figure out who he was–he’s someone I saw a lot of at school both my first and second years. Finally I figured it out:

I didn’t recognize him because he’s taking the bar on Tuesday.

I hoped for his sake that he was taking a scheduled break, that he was just stopping in for one beer before going back to study. But all I could think was, “Good luck, man. Good luck.”

That goes for all of you, actually–good luck on the bar!

If anyone–and I mean ANYONE–spoils Harry Potter for me before my British copy arrives from the UK (probably Monday), I will hurt them. That includes the stupid MSM and all bloggers I regularly read.

You’ve been warned.

This weekend, Mr. Angst and I made a quick trip down the road to the Angst-in-laws’ to celebrate both his mom’s and our nephew’s birthdays. But because I had a late meeting Friday, we couldn’t leave till Saturday, which means we spent about 10 hours on the highway in the space of about 36 hours. Whee! Even better, when Mr. Angst went to pick up the rent car on Friday evening, they had no CARS left, only a MINIVAN. So we drove those 10 hours in a very ungainly, black grocery-getter. Fun!

Size and coolness factor aside, the minivan had other negative implications. Himself, who usually sits on the backseat in car trips, where he can see the scenery pass by, had to sit on the floor in his crate, because the middle seat in the minivan had bucket seats and the backseat was too small for the crate. He did not like this, not one bit, and spent the entire trip down on Saturday morning sitting up in his crate, staring at me, panting, and pressing his nose through the wires, like a little jailbird. He didn’t sleep at all. Upon arriving, he promptly peed, pooped, and vomited all over Angst-in-laws’ backyard. More fun!

The weekend got better after that, though–our two-year-old nephew is adorable, and becoming quite the chatterbox. And it was nice to get out of town for a bit, even if the temperature was 10 degrees hotter there than in Our New City. I will say, though, that I’ve never seen more people wearing Crocs than I did when we ventured out–nearly every kid I saw all weekend was wearing them, and most parents were, too. (Yes, the Angst nephew has Crocs, but he sensibly wore sneakers most of the weekend. More stable for his young legs.)

At any rate, we’re home now, and getting back into our routine. I’ve even finished my journal grading! Himself is sleeping peacefully (finally!), the air conditioning is blasting (finally!), and I’m lounging comfortably. Too bad I have to be back at work early tomorrow morning.

Look, no matter what they say, work is almost always going to take over your life less than school. (At least when work is steady and/or slow. When work is busy, forget it.)

Case in point: Today was a sort of slow day for me at work. I did some research, I ran an “errand” related to a project, I went to lunch. I got home at a decent hour, changed into comfy clothes, and prompty felt like I needed something to do. Mr. Angst cooked dinner, so I really didn’t have anything to take care of.^[1]

I’m not good at sitting around watching TV–and I don’t really have anything fun to read right now, at least not that I haven’t already read.^[2] I needed something to do. So I made some banana bread, since the bananas were getting pretty ripe. Then I bathed the dog, since he hadn’t been bathed since we moved and was getting itchy. And now . . . I am actually POSTING ON MY BLOG.

This has been a pretty sweet week as far as just living goes. I’ve been eating a little healthier (the summer weight has been creeping onto me and there are clothes falling out of the rotation because they don’t fit right now), I’ve been home by 6 each night, there haven’t been any outside-of-work events extending the day well past sunset. We’ve cooked at home every night this week so far. We’ve cleared out most of the empty boxes. We’ve stocked one bookshelf. We’ve figured out where certain things will get stored and our apartment is looking less like a storage unit and more like our home. Things, right now, are very comfortable. And I like that.

I have no illusions that working at a law firm will always be like this–I think being home after 6 is more the norm than the exception, and I’m sure there will be nights when things are looming, things that could and should be done before tomorrow. But I’m just as certain that there will be at least a few nights like the ones I’ve had this week, nights where I can sit with Mr. Angst and Himself and relax, eat a home-cooked meal, do some baking, and just be myself. I love school–and working this summer has really driven home to me how much I love school–but I also love feeling like my life is a little less of a one-note chorus.

1. Were this the school year, I would almost certainly have reading to do, research to do, journal stuff to do. There’s always something more to do, something that could and should be done before tomorrow. ↩
2. I finished The Kite Runner for the second time last night. ↩

Man, I just don’t post lately. This was sort of a busy week at work (though it’s tapering off now), and it was a busy week at home (what with the graduation on Sunday and trying to finish unpacking stuff and sell the remainder of the stuff at the old place).

I’d feel worse about not posting if I had anything to post that I thought would be interesting. But since I don’t blog about Work Club, all the interesting things happening in my life are off limits. Because today, the most interesting non-work thing that happened to me was discovering Banana Republic has a 14-day price adjustment policy. This worked out well, since I just bought a dress at full price and I was able to get half of that full price back.

So that’s it around here. How about you guys?

So Work Club and Moving Club are keeping me SUPER BUSY, so super busy that I haven’t really been posting at all lately, and for that I apologize. The nutshell on my life is:

Tax is more interesting than I thought it would be.
Our new apartment is so much better than I even hoped it could be.
We still have a bunch of stuff at the old apartment that has to be dealt with this weekend.
Mr. Angst graduates this weekend and the Angst-in-laws will be here, so there’s a time management problem looming.
Journal stuff looms and looms and looms. And looms.

Um, yeah. That’s my life. That and trying to figure out where all of our books go, now that we’ve gotten rid of two of our bookshelves. (We haven’t actually gotten rid of them; if anyone in Our City needs bookshelves or a honey oak media shelf (or a baker’s rack or wire storage shelving for that matter), should Let Me Know.)

I think it finally hit me.

That is: the lack of sleep, the non-stop packing and editing and editing and packing, the general worry about whether I’m doing enough at my summer job, and the stupid, stupid weather.

I think I’ve been pretty tireless for the last two weeks–and that’s good, because I needed to be–but I think it’s finally caught up to me. I’m wiped. I’m wiped and I’m pissy and I’m brain dead. I reread the same two sentences twelve times this evening (while trying to make up for some lost hours at work), and I still couldn’t tell you what they said, or why they were important. At home, I find myself unable to concentrate on finishing one task–I keep getting distracted into doing something else. Everything seems sort of hazy.

I keep reminding myself that tomorrow is moving day and we’ll be done with all this soon, and that I’m taking a little vacation this weekend (albeit work-related). And that when I get back on Sunday things will look better, clearer, brighter. But right now, I just want to hide my head in the sand and sleep.

Things I’ve noticed this week:

1) My cashier at the breakfast spot in my building wears a kabbalah bracelet.
2) My shoes squeak with every step.
3) There are not enough hours in the day.

That last one is all about how much I have to do in the next few days–and how unlikely it is that any of it will get done. I am very close to being done with this round of journal duties (just in time for new ones, yay!), but then I’ll have to spend the entire weekend packing our apartment. (Yes, of course Mr. Angst will be helping. I just tend to take on these kinds of responsibilities, even when I perhaps should be comfortable not Doing It All Myself.)

I know that the next, oh, ten days will be really busy and stressful and probably hard. But at the end of it, we’ll be in a new and improved apartment, my big stressful journal duties will be past (for the time), and the bulk of the summer will still stretch before me. Oh, I hope, I hope.

Um, I haven’t been posting much, have I? (Nothing substantive, at least.) That’s because I’ve been really busy. The end of my week saw me scrambling to finish up an assignment at work (it had to be done by Friday), spending some time in the library, working on some journal stuff, visiting with some in-town family, and packing some boxes. Today, that family that are visiting are going to help us trot a load of stuff up to our new place. Our lease doesn’t start till Friday, but we have the keys already and they’re in town with a car, and I just want to drop off things I don’t trust the movers with or that are a pain to box up (like, our china and crystal and our stacks of winter coats). I’m planning to just tuck the stuff away–we’re not moving in yet or anything, we’re just taking advantage of the available vehicle. And did I mention we already have the keys?

A few other notes:

1) I have decided no one should start a sentence with the word “Thus.”
2) Himself knows something is going on–he’s been sort of squidgy for a couple of days now, and I think he’s worried we’re going to move away without him.
3) I am selling a bunch of stuff (furniture-type things), so if you’re in my city, let me know if you want a coffee table or some bookshelves. Or a baker’s rack.

Suddenly my life got really busy. I’m swamped at work all of a sudden, and I have lots to do yet with my journal duties, and we’re moving in a week and a half and I have family coming in this weekend, and basically I’m just snowed under. I keep waiting for things to clear up–since exams, I’ve never really gotten to the point where I can just relax–and it’s just not happening. So I’m resigning myself to being a completely un-fun, un-relaxed, un-leisure-time-accessible person.

Talk to me in two weeks. Maybe then things will be better.

Without going into specifics, I just want to say that today was a pretty cool day at work, and tomorrow is going to be TEN TIMES better. Who ever knew that [seemingly completely dull and boring area of law] could be so COOL?

Why is it that pants which, in black, are not too tight or unflattering to the tushy, are, in khaki, completely scandalous, such that I will never be able to wear them out?

I’m sitting cross-legged on my couch while wearing them, hoping to stretch them out a bit. I need khaki pants for work, you know.

This afternoon, a big thunderstorm rolled in (actually, just as I was leaving lunch–we made it back into the building with only seconds to spare). By the time I was ready to leave this afternoon, I wondered how I would get home, since I didn’t have an umbrella. I contemplated taking a cab, but as I walked outside, I noticed it wasn’t raining anymore. Yay! I thought, I can take the train after all!. Onto the train I hopped, still using my student pass (good for three more days!), popped in my headphones, and tuned out. Until I got to my stop, when I noticed that not only was it not not raining in my neighborhood, it was POURING. Hm. I thought. What to do? I had a few options: make a mad dash to the drugstore and buy and umbrella–and come close to ruining my dry-clean-only clothes; wait for the rain to let up–an unlikely prospect; or call someone to come get me with an umbrella. (NB: Someone = Mr. Angst) Three guesses which option I chose? (Ha ha, see that’s a trick, because there are only three options. So you’d have to eventually get it right. Right? See?)

Anyhoo, that was my day. (No, actually, there was more to my day. Boring, though, and not postable.) I have some editing to do tonight (fun!) and then it’s back to the 9-to-5 tomorrow.

I’m trying to get motivated to start the packing process, but all I really want to do right now is go shopping, finish my edits, and watch TV. Some of those things are good things (i.e., the edits have to get done, right?) and some of them are less good (shopping needs to happen, but it’s not totally urgent; TV watching is bad).

Last night, Mr. Angst and I and four friends dropped a chunk of change eating at one of our favorite restaurants. It was pricey, but it was SO worth it. Six courses, four bottles of wine, and 18 hours later, I’m still reeling from the yum.

Of course, two of the friends we ate with are off today for their summers in another city, so that’s a little sad. It’s actually very easy to get sort of mopey this time of year when all my 3L friends are graduating and moving, and my 2L friends are scattering to the far corners of the country for the summer. At the same time, I’m getting really excited to start working on Monday–to get up and have someplace to go that’s not class, that requires me to actually spend some time getting ready in the morning. I’m basically just really excited to have a regular schedule again. I never thought I’d crave it so much.

Anyway, it’s a beautiful day outside, but I’m spending the afternoon trudging through some cite-checking so I won’t be completely guilty over my lack of progress this week. At least I’m at home–but I think tomorrow’s schedule is going to have to include some library time.

So here’s the skinny folks.

My summer job is about to start (like, in THREE DAYS, gulp), and that means I’ll be running this blog according to the Summer Posting Policy.

What is the Summer Posting Policy?

Well, for starters, I’m not really going to say much (or anything) about my job, at least not that’s more detailed than, “Gosh, legal research can be boring!” or “I’ve done more writing this week than I’ve ever done!”

I also won’t be talking about my colleagues AT ALL, not even in the most heavily veiled, non-specific ways. That includes my fellow summer associates as well as the attorneys I will be working with.

I might sometimes mention the good food I’ve eaten. I’m kind of into food. But I won’t be blabbing about where, specifically, I’m eating. Or with whom.

OK, so that seems like I won’t have very much at all to write about! Au contraire. We will be moving, so there will be lots of posting about THAT nonsense. We still have Himself, so there will probably be more cute pictures. I still do the Law School Roundup every other week, so that’ll be here. And I will be working on journal stuff all summer, which will SURELY elicit some frustrated, groaning posts about spending the weekend in the library. I’ll hopefully have some time, also, to do some fun reading and see movies and even enjoy some of the fabulous free stuff that goes on in Our New City, so I’ll probably write about those things also.

Basically, the idea behind the Summer Posting Policy is that posts about time at my firm won’t really be all that interesting (or at least very different from posts by any other law student blogger at a law firm) and could create potential problems. So I’m going to write about more interesting things instead. I hope everyone enjoys the Summer Posting Policy.